HE CALLED ME A DECEITFUL, LYING, ADULEROUS, WHORE

 HE CALLED ME A DECEITFUL, LYING, ADULEROUS, WHORE

I was already saved and baptized and yet even I couldn't escape the harsh names that were intended to push me into better. I confessed and was baptized as a child, but it did not keep me from sin growing up. I wanted to do right, but the dark drew me closer and closer as I wanted to fit in, although I always stood out. I began a horrible relationship in the most wrong way at the age of 6 which led me to search love in all the wrong beds. Sexually confused, and a mark for men who knew who to give me my moment of satisfaction, I began to drown in my own self torment and shame. I was on a one way ticket to hell on earth with gasoline draws on. I went from molestation, to rape, to promiscuity, to marital rape and abuse, and finally adultery before finally being healed, delivered, and set free and in a new marriage being loved and cherished. 

When I reached the very end of my breakdown, I ran screaming to the Church asking for help. What lead to this moment was after fleeing my home because of an abuser and running into the arms of a user. I had had enough. However, before I knew where to run, I started seeking God and He answered me in such a harsh way (or so it felt). He took me to the book of Hosea and several other scriptures that described me to a tea. He called me deceitful, that I was deceiving men who did not know that, though I was separated, I was still married. I was lying to friends and family who had no idea I had been being abused for years and many other lies to make my life look polished. I was a whore by being so promiscuous regardless of things that happened to me. I was adulterous because I was cheating on my first love, God. 

Those who are stuck in sexual sin, especially homosexual, get offended from being called certain words that come directly from the Bible, but it was those very words that saved my life. We think that to love someone means that it should feel good and sound pleasing, but he who is not chastened is not loved. God loves those He correct. With this cancel culture, it is extremely difficult for people to get to the end of their selves, because their issue are never their own but the fault of those that are truly trying to help them see it is a better way. I was dying daily, and not to self but to my selfishness. Though my upbringing was challenging, there came a time in my life that I had to decide that though it may have been who I was, it was not going to be who I remained. I had to decide that just because things happened to me, they were not me. I could be the fearfully wonderful person that God predestined me to be, or I could continue to hold on to what the world was trying to shape me into being. I chose God, my first love. 

When we take the offense off of our sleeves and truly hear what is being said, we can see our situations for what they truly are and become who we are truly meant to be. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done!